The Presidential Press Conference Today
Another day at the White House:
Bush: Thank you all for coming out today. I know you could all be at Disney World or shopping with your big American SUV, but you, the American People ™, are here today to listen to me speeching like this, that’s really nice. To start this off the right way, let me first bite the head off this baby.
(bites head off baby, blood squirts out)
(the press is quiet, hammering heard in distance)
Bush: See that? I can bite the head off a baby, and you won’t say a word, I knew it!
Bush: Ok, so who has the first question? Bill, go ahead!
Bill: Thank you Mr. President. Is it true that you are going to bring back the guillotine? (large structure is seen behind curtains in the
distance. hammering continues)
Bush: Absolutely not! That is just how the enemy does it! Cutting off heads like that is barbaric and completely un-American. Next question.
Judy: Sir, we have reports that your favorite phase has become “Off with his head!”, and then you start laughing to yourself. Is this true?
Bush: That is just so far off, I won’t even respond to that. Who did you say told you that?
Judy: It was an anonymous source sir. (Judy is carried off by two men in suits)
Bush: Any more questions?