Thinkpacs - you think, you blog

An evil empire, known the world over for support of the most horrific events in recent human history, wants to control our ports! We just can’t let this happen!

For instance, they started numerous coups d’etat to topple democratically elected governments! We’re talking big countries, like Iran, Bolivia, El Salvadore, Panama. Maybe even in the old USSR. How can you trust someone that will do those things to run our ports!

They support death squads, funded by illegal arms sales! And they were caught and let them go!

They invade other countries ignoring international law!

They have enourmous debt to communist countries!

What are we to do? I suggest that Switzerland run our ports. They are nice. What’s that? They don’t have any ports? Small detail.

G: Man, my credibulity is really in the gutter. It’s never been this bad!

D: Don’t be so hasty. We can turn this around. Just need a little more fear is all.

K: Like I keep saying, it doesn’t matter. You’ll be fine.

G: Easy for you to say! I feel off my bike again, good thing no one got a good shot of me wiping out.

K: I could turn that around and make you into a hero. Easy.

G: I don’t know about that.

D: Yeah, let’s have a bet. All this spying stuff is getting to me, need some distractions. But I don’t bet on bikes, need something better.

K: Here’s something: We’ll set up Dick to go out hunting out on that Armstrong Ranch. And he shoots someone! And I turn that around and make Dick into a hero! Easy! And it will distract everyone from George long enough for us to get more stories planted in the papers.
G: How much you wanna bet?  $500 like last time?  Who you going to have Dick shoot?

K:  Won’t be you this time!  We’ll find someone convenient.

D: Can you get women and booze in too?

G: Ok, $1000 then.

D: Deal. Man Karl, I don’t see how you’re going to do this! George, get me and Karl another beer.

Another day at the White House:

Bush: Thank you all for coming out today. I know you could all be at Disney World or shopping with your big American SUV, but you, the American People ™, are here today to listen to me speeching like this, that’s really nice. To start this off the right way, let me first bite the head off this baby.

(bites head off baby, blood squirts out)

(the press is quiet, hammering heard in distance)

Bush: See that? I can bite the head off a baby, and you won’t say a word, I knew it!

Bush: Ok, so who has the first question? Bill, go ahead!

Bill: Thank you Mr. President. Is it true that you are going to bring back the guillotine? (large structure is seen behind curtains in the
distance. hammering continues)

Bush: Absolutely not! That is just how the enemy does it! Cutting off heads like that is barbaric and completely un-American. Next question.

Judy: Sir, we have reports that your favorite phase has become “Off with his head!”, and then you start laughing to yourself. Is this true?

Bush: That is just so far off, I won’t even respond to that. Who did you say told you that?

Judy: It was an anonymous source sir. (Judy is carried off by two men in suits)

Bush: Any more questions?

For starters, this is a really tough decision to make. This guy’s been working for me for awhile now, and it’s time for me to decide on the “bonus” he deserves, and I want to be fair about it.To tell the truth, he’s really caused me some problems, but he’s really important, you know “visible”, out there representing the company, and he has great contacts for sure.

When I first hired him, he said he was going to be really nice to all the employees we had and make everyone work together. But that soon changed and now most of the people really hate him. He’s fired a few people and they say it was because of what they’ve said about him, but I’m not certain of course.

He does take a lot of vacation, but I won’t hold that against him. He even lied on his resume, but I guess everyone does these days.

And a couple of his friends have been arrested, and even more are under investigation! But I could handle that if his business decisions were working out. He keeps telling me everything is going great, but I’m not so sure.

He wanted to open a store in a new neighborhood and said it would be a slam dunk. We’ve spent almost all our money fighting the competition there for almost three years now, it’s hurting our main stores, and our reputation is suffering because of it.

For instance, we had a big flood in one of our buildings, and this guy stayed on vacation, and then hired these incompetent guys to take care of the mess! It was a complete disaster. Some of the employees even died!

And because of the competition, he had tried to bug their offices to get some information, and he got caught. He’s telling everyone it was in his contract that he could do this, and so far he’s getting away with it, but I’m not sure how long he can keep this up. Of course we’re telling everyone things are going great, but most of our international partners think something is up.

So the big question is, what should I do?